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A turkey as a bird is quite absurd,
He can neither run nor fly.
So he lives instead in a wooden shed
Next door to the old pigsty.
His food in the main is a bowl of grain,
And he never gets much thinner.
But the very last meal that he ever wants to see
Is the farmer’s Christmas dinner.
Chorus:
Gobble! Gobble! Gobble! Gobble! Gobble!
Gobble! Gobble! Gobble! Gobble! Gobble!
If I try to run or fly all I do is wobble,
So I’m obsessed with what I do best:
Gobble! Gobble! Gobble! Gobble! Gobble!
A turkey and a duck got married one day
In the summer when the bright sun shone.
The hens and geese made up the choir,
And the vicar was a goat with a dog collar on.
The duck declared her life-long love,
And the turkey did not squabble,
But when he came to recite his vows,
He just said, “Gobble! Gobble! Gobble!”
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Thomas the turkey couldn’t fly
So he bought a flying machine.
The wings were made of an old bedsheet,
And he sat in a bucket in between.
With his upper lip stiff, he jumped off a cliff,
Oh! what a terrible drop!
Then he wobbled like jelly and he landed on his belly
And he bounced right back to the top.
Thomas the turkey bought a car
But it never went anywhere,
For the steering wheel was in the boot
And all four tyres were square.
The headlight pointed up to the stars,
And the engine was no good.
So he pushed his feet through a whole in the floor,
And he peddled as fast as he could.
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